Kiss of the Spider Woman, The Worst Movie Ever

Once again I must set the record straight (no pun intended). Despite the overwhelming abundance of glowing reviews, Kiss of the Spider Woman for me is the all time leading celluloid drag (no pun intended, really). It is literally the movie both my wife and I use to epitomize the the absolute worst, the bottom of the barrel (npi).

Now I’ll admit it’s been a long time since I’ve seen this movie but there have been very very few movies, after spending spending seven dollars to get in and more in sundries, that I have walked out on but walk out before the end of this loathsome movie, I did.

The Boring Plot

Kiss of the Spider Woman is primarily set in an Argentinian prison cell at some unknown time (probably the sixties). The incarcerated occupants are Luis Molina (William Hurt) an insufferable drag queen and Valentin Arregui (Raul Julia) a firebrand political prisoner who at first is wary of his homosexual cellmate but eventually understands him and finally accepts and befriends him.

At first Molina, who is sometimes seen with makeshift turbans, shawls and other effeminate paraphernalia, merely seeks Valentin’s respect of what he is and his lifestyle, but he is obviously attracted to the virile revolutionary and secretly covets a romantic liaison. Molina weaves his web on Valentin by occasionally entertaining himself and Valentin with his view of old movies, (presented in the movie as flashbacks) one of which is a Nazi propaganda film, which the fanciful queen misinterprets in terms only of romance. These Flashbacks contain Brazilian starlet Sonia Braga who is apparently the namesake of the movie – The Spider Woman.

Credits

Directed by
Hector Babenco

Writing credits (in alphabetical order)
Manuel Puig novel
Leonard Schrader

Cast (in credits order) complete, awaiting verification
William Hurt …. Luis Molina
Raul Julia …. Valentin Arregui
Sonia Braga …. Leni Lamaison/Marta/Spider Woman

SUMMARY

The word of the day is Boring. What’s that old saying, “like watching grass grow,” this was perhaps the most boring movie I have ever had the mispleasure (is that a word?) to see. Almost all of the acting was dialogue and the dialogue was slow, repetitive, suggestive and full of double entendres, none of which were clever. They exchange ideas of masculinity, of sexuality and politics. The relief from the boredom in the form of the sepia toned flashbacks were confusing, irrelevant and disjointed. Molina’s interpretations of these flashbacks were warped, contrived and self serving.

Yes their are subplots. Molina has been offered freedom in exchange for information from Valentin and Valentin who is slowly being poisoned by his captors is taken out periodically for tortuous interrogations but that still doesn’t save this movie. Overall this movie was a dreadful effort with no redeeming qualities. Final rating, 0 Stars

CONCLUSION

I must confess to a certain amount of ambivalence. Not about the movie itself but whether I should write a review about this abysmal movie in the face of such adoration for this movie by other reviewers and the public in general. It was after all up for several Oscar nominations and William Hurt did walk away with an Oskie for best actor and the acting was indeed good. I have no more idea why so many people loved this movie than why the recent election went the way it did. This is a case of one person’s treasure is another person’s junk or in this case many people’s treasure is one man and wife’s junk and junk it is!

For me it is mind boggling that anyone could like this movie. I know some of you may shrug and think that I’m a homophobe. Well I’m not. One does not have to be a homophobe to not like a movie involving a blatant homosexual any more than you’re a bigot if you didn’t like a movie about blacks or Jews or Whites or whatever. Bad is Bad but if any real homophobes happened to see this movie I’ll bet it reinforced their convoluted view of gays. To them it was probably like waring garlic around a vampire.

August 23, 2008. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , . Argentina, gay, homosexual, insurgents, kissing, movie, politics, prison, queen, rebels, reviews. 1 comment.

‘If I want you in my arms. All I have to do is Dream’

I’m sure that many if not most of you are not familiar with the lyrics I used from am old 1950’s Everly Brothers song for my title, but it sure came to my mind when I read this article on wet dreams. I find the article interesting so I’m going to share it with my readers.

Question: have you ever experienced an orgasm from a dream?

My answer: No. Unfortunately not in years, but I have in the past. Now days some kind of sub-conscious censor has implanted himself in my psyche. I can start a sexy dream but just before I get to the really good part a curtain falls as if someone said you’re not allowed to go there. At this point I wake up frustrated and disappointed.

romance-2.jpg

The following is a an article from the AOL Love and Dating pages.

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The Latest in Love & Dating News:
Fun Facts About Sex Dreams

Posted: 2007-08-23 14:02:57

Chances are, you had a sex dream this week. Fully eight percent of
our dreams involve sexual situations, according to a new study from
psychologists at the University of Montreal in Canada.

Interestingly, women have just as many sex dreams as men, with one
important difference: Men are far more likely to have fantasies about
sex with imaginary people, while women dream about current or past
sexual partners, as well as celebrities, reports HealthDay News.

“Men used to report many more sex dreams, twice as many as women, and
we don’t find that difference anymore,” study author Antonio Zadra,
an associate professor of psychology at the University of Montreal,
explained to HealthDay News. “Either women are having them more, or
they’re more likely to report them. Either way, it’s interesting. ”

Even though sex dreams are very common, psychologists haven’t paid
much attention to them. For this study, the team asked 109 women and
64 men ages 20 to 89, all of whom responded to an ad about the
research project, to keep a diary of their dreams for as long as one
month. The total number of dreams exceeded 3,500.

What do we dream about?

— The most common sex dream involved sexual intercourse, followed by
flirting, kissing, fantasies and masturbation.

— Four percent of sex dreams among men and women resulted in an
orgasm.

— 18 percent of women’s sex dreams involved unwanted sex, compared
with just five percent of men.

— Nine percent of sex dreams among women and five percent among men
involved fantasies about celebrities.

— Men were far more likely to dream about having sex with more than
one person.

— Four percent of women’s dreams featured a partner having an
orgasm. None of the men reported this dream.

Zadra explained that if you dream about something, it probably
occupies your waking thoughts as well. “If the sex dreams tend to
involve unknown or fantasy characters, it is probably a reflection of
your waking state, that your desires and fantasies are with
strangers,” he told HealthDay News.

The study findings were reported at the annual meeting of the
Associated Professional Sleep Societies in Minneapolis, Minn.

Eighty percent of us have a wet dream once a week. Do you? If you’re one of the lucky ones, is it always the same or is it different each time? Would you like to tell us about it?

August 25, 2007. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . celebrities, dream, erotic, explicit, flirting, intercourse, kissing, masturbation, men, naked, Nude, orgasm, Psychiatry, relationship, research, sex, sex dream, sexual intercourse, study, therapist, women. 2 comments.