Do You Feel Safer?

The Bottom Line I say Bush has made us less safe by morphing young Muslim hot heads into terrorists. What do you think?
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The big discussion these days, just prior to the midterm election seems to be whether we are safer or less safe than we were after 9/11.

I’m confused about that myself so I’ve decided to take a poll.

Here are a dozen multiple choice questions to show what we think..

President Bush’s pre-emptive war on Iraq has made –
a. U.S. citizens safer
b. Iraqi citizens safer
c. American servicemen safer
d. Osama bin Laden safer

President Bush and Republican claim that the Democrats don’t have the stomach to fight terrorism. Is that –
a. A known known
b. A known unknown
c. An unknown known
d. Partisan bullsh*t

The Democratic response to this is that President Bush and his advisors don’t have the brains to fight terrorism. Is that –
a. Partisan bullsh*t
b. A chip off the ole block
c. Hard work
d. A known known

Weapons of mass destruction were not found in Iraq because –
a. They’re there – buried in the desert
b. The Iraqi people were so hungry, they ate them
c. The intelligence was taken out of a comic book.
d. They was fooled

The intelligence used to justify the war was flawed because –
a. Clinton didn’t do enough to catch Osama bin Laden
b. Richard Clarke was a traitor
c. Saddam Hussein started a disinformation campaign
d. They picked only the intelligence backed their position.

The real reason the Bush cabal pushed for war in Iraq was –
a. Although they couldn’t prove it, they knew Hussein was behind 9/11
b. Rumsfeld was real good at playing Risk. Monopoly too! (but not sorry)
c. Cheney decided that he missed something in the Viet Nam experience after all.
d. The butt of jokes in West Texas for years, Bush wanted to show everybody he could really find oil.

If you had an emergency, like your house was about to flood from a hurricane or something. You would call –
a. George W. Bush
b. The Ghostbusters
c. Osama bin Laden
d. Your insurance agent

Democrats and some Republicans say the administration fixed the intelligence to make the case for war. You think.
a. It’s partisan bullsh*t
b. The end justifies the means
c. Democrats can’t take a joke
d. We should impeach the bastard

Six Generals who had served in Iraq, recently said Rumsfeld has mismanaged the war and should go. You think
a. Everybody is entitled to a booboo or fifty (look at the President)
b. Rummy is no dummy. He just acts like it
c. He gives the most interesting press conferences since Baghdad Bob
d. Put him in charge of security for Darth Cheney.

President Bush keeps saying we are fighting the terrorists in Iraq so we don’t have to fight them here. You think.
a. No attacks in five years – good job George.
b. The big ones take time
c. Can’t you just picture George decapitating a terrorist with his golf club.
d. At the rate we’re going we won’t have an army to fight them over there.

The Bush administration has recently been accused of portraying a rosier picture in Iraq than the reality. You think.
a. The Iraqis are cry babies
b. Wouldn’t you
c. I like roses
d. Saddam is looking better and better

President Bush, Vice Pres, Cheney and Sec of State Rice have all said, Knowing what they know now they would still attack Iraq. You think.
a. I told you they were tough.
b. They’re all nuttier than a fruitcake
c. Has there ever been a military coup in the U.S.?
d. Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.

Okay. That completes the poll. Total up your answers allowing one point for an a. answer, two for b., three for c and four for d, total up you answers and look below for the results.

Twelve to fifteen points – You are a true believer. Report for duty in Iraq immediately for adventure Bush style.

Sixteen to twenty-six points – You are an independent person but not too bright and not too safe.

Twenty-seven to thirty-eight points – You are not too bright. Have you thought of running for President.

Thirty-nine points to forty-eight points – You didn’t vote for Bush. Did you?

July 27, 2007. attack, Baghdad, Bill Clinton, Books, cakewalk, Cheney, dishonest, ethics, explosions, George W. Bush, Humor, Iraq, lies, politics, President Bush, Rumsfeld, satire, slam dunk, Terrorism. 1 comment.

Whopper

George Whopper Bush,

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The forty-third President of the United States is George W. Bush. Many citizens think the middle initial stands for Walker after his maternal Grandfather, as in George Walker Bush. However, I postulate that another middle name fits reality better. In my opinion W. really stands for Whopper as in George Whopper Bush. Whopper as I shall call him from here out has spun some dandies. Perhaps you are not aware of this, preferring to believe Whopper instead of your lying ears and eyes. If so, I have some gold mine stock I’d like to unl…er discuss with you.
I have taken the time to edify you to some of the Whopprisms we all have been subjected to, yet you may not be aware of.
Since the buck stops in the Oval office, I have included some of the blatant Whoppers that have been foisted upon us by his so-called advisors.

George Whopper Bush top forty-three Whoppers. (In no particular order)

1. We’ll get Osama bin Laden, dead or alive.
2. Iraq is the center in the War on Terror.
3. Brownie. You’re doing a hell of a job.
4. We’re fighting them there so we don’t have to fight them here.
5. Oil revenues will pay for the Iraqi war
6. Mission accomplished.
7. I’m not into nation building.
8. We don’t want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud.
9. Saddam Hussein tried to obtain uranium from Niger.
10. Aluminum tubes the Iraqis have obtained can only be used for nuclear centrifuges.
11. You go to war with the army you have, not the one you’d like to have.
12. Muhammad Atta met an Iraqi intelligence agent in Prague
13. Iraq is known to have weapons of mass destruction.
14. We will be greeted in Iraq as liberators.
15. The damage that Katrina inflicted on New Orleans was unexpected.
16. We went into Iraq to build a democracy in the Middle East
17. Islam is a peaceful religion.
18. Saddam Hussein was involved in 9/11
19. Iraq was a sponsor of Terror.
20. Abu Musab Zarqawri was an agent of Al Qaeda (not at first)
21. Iraq is a terrorist haven (now it is.)
22. We’re not facing an insurgency.
23. A few dead enders.
24. We give our military all the troops they ask for.
25. Things are not as bad in Iraq as they appear (one of those lying eyes things)
26. Today marks the end of hostilities. (over three years ago)
27. We have a plan.
28. Osama bin Laden is now insignificant.
29. We will stand down when they stand up.
30. The insurgency is in its last throes.
31. The insurgency should slow down now that Iraq has a freely elected government.
32. The insurgency should slow down now that they have a constitution.
33. The insurgency should slow down now that they have an interim government.
34. The insurgency should slow down now that Zarqawri is dead.
35. The insurgency should slow down now that Hussein is in custody.
36. Over 200,000 Iraqi troops are now trained.
37. There is no civil war in Iraq.
38. We should be out of Iraq in six months.
39. We went with the best intelligence we had. (should’ve said we could pick)
40. Congress had the same information we had.
41. We gave the UN all the time we could.
42. The war in Iraq did not distract us from the war on Terror.
43. We didn ‘t start planning the invasion of Iraq until after 9/11.
Bonus Lie: I finished my tour with the Air National Guard.
Extra Big Lie: I would still go into Iraq, knowing what I know now.

Wow, all them Whoppers, sure made me hungry. I think I’ll go to Burger King.

July 26, 2007. attack, Baghdad, cakewalk, Cheney, Civil War, dishonest, ethics, explosions, George W. Bush, Humor, Iraq, liberators, lies, politics, President, President Bush, primary, Psychiatry, Rumsfeld, slam dunk. 1 comment.

The News Keeps Getting Worse and Worse.

Dateline April 9, 2012, Baghdad, Iraq

“There is lots of news to report today but first we take you now to Beverly Watson in Baghdad where a bold new terrorist event is unfolding. Beverly?”

“Thank you Brian.”

“Starting at two PM Baghdad time, three car bombs were detonated simultaneously this morning in the middle of a celebration of the eighth anniversary of the fall of the Statue of Saddam Hussein in central Baghdad. As police and paramedics approached the scenes of the explosions, rocket propelled grenades were launched at their vehicles destroying them and killing or wounding scores more. Shortly afterwards, as if on cue, rooftop insurgents started raking the remaining bystanders with automatic rifle fire killing or wounding hundreds more and herding the onlookers to a portion of the square where four more bombs went off.”

“At this point no one has been able get to the dead and wounded to provide medical treatment or to assess the damage. Iraqi troops were sent in to confront the insurgents, but have been pinned down. Both the Iraqi soldiers and the insurgents have been taking heavy casualties. Coalition troops with heavy equipment including tanks are en-route to assist the bogged down Iraqis.”

“Of the estimated twenty-five thousand celebrants, it is feared that as many as two thousand may be dead or wounded. That would make this the third largest onslaught of Iraqi civilians since the war began. These casualties are eclipsed only by the three thousand killed and seven thousand wounded in the Baghdad soccer stadium. That was shortly before the mysterious helicopter crash which killed the President and two members of the Cabinet on their flight back from Camp David in 2008. Then there was the twenty-five thousand killed and wounded in the clash between Sunni an Shiite militias which set off the Civil War in the summer of 2007.That was shortly after then Vice President Cheney’s visit and speech to the Iraqi people after and in conjunction with the execution of Saddam Hussein and six of his most vicious henchmen.”

“Back to you Brian.”

“One Question, Beverly. Do you have any idea who or what is behind this attack?”

“No Brian, at this time no one has claimed responsibility but because it occurred during a celebration for the toppling of Saddam Hussein, it is suspected that it was the work of Ba’ath terrorists but with over two hundred active terrorist organizations, no one will know unless one of them claims responsibility.”

“Thank you Beverly.”

“To recap America’s longest declared war, it is entering it’s ninety seventh month (longer than all three declared wars in the Twentieth Century together) and to date has cost America the sum of two trillion dollars, equivalent to $60,000 per American or a quarter million for a family of four. Estimated Iraqi casualties in this this ongoing eight year war and the associated civil war are estimated to be about two million with a half million dead, about twice what Hussein was alleged to have butchered. Coalition casualties exceed sixty thousand with about twenty thousand dead, mostly American.”

“On an unrelated matter, we now take you to Bill Thomas in Caracas, Venezuela?”

“Venezuela has announced that, with the assistance of Iran and North Korea, it now has a nuclear bomb, joining them, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Syria and South Africa as newest members of the Nuclear Club.”

“President Hillary Clinton has been in contact with the Venezuelan President For Life, Hugo Chavez urging him to reconsider, promising substantial foreign aid and further promising to buy Venezuelan crude at two dollars a barrel over the international average price, which is currently a record one hundred and twenty-four dollars a barrel.”

“The Governors of our fifty-first state, Puerto Rico and fifty-second state Cuba as well as our President have also lodged protests with Venezuela over their alleged underground nuclear test on an uninhabited island off the coast of Venezuela, which the Venezuelans claim was nothing more than an earthquake.”

“Back to you Brian.”

“Bill you spoken with President Chavez. Did he give you any idea why his country is going the nuclear route?”

“Yes Brian, he did. He claims the reason is self defense and the country started working on nuclear weapons after the late President Bush had added Venezuela to his Axis of Evil in his 2007 State of the Union address. He said and I quote, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder and so is evil”. He goes on to point out the only member of that dubious list that has been invaded, is Iraq, which didn’t possess a nuclear deterrent and claims if we hadn‘t been bogged down in Iraq and Afghanistan, we would have attacked Venezuela.”

“Thank You Bill.”

“Meanwhile, Secretary of State, Obama has been in contact with the mayors of Cleveland, St Louis and Miami where the ongoing riots seem to be petering out. The riots are still going strong in Philadelphia and Gary, Indiana. On the international scene new riots have started in Karachi, Pakistan and Birmingham, England while the violence has finally subsided in Paris where a terrorist plane had knocked off the top third of the Eiffel Tower, causing several hundred deaths last month.”

“When we return, we will discuss whether the reconstituted draft or the astronomical price of gas and oil which reached as high as $8.79 per gallon, precipitated the riots and what the present administration is prepared to do about the ongoing environmental problems, with the Secretary Obama.”

OF COURSE IT’S FICTION, like I had to tell you that, but really, so has what the present administration has been force feeding us since 9/11. Fictional rational to go to war. Inadequate planning, Totally underestimation of the enemy. No exit strategy. Stationing only enough troops to perpetuate a stalemate. Continuously overlooking all the bad news to point out the paltry good news. 3,000 plus dead since the declared end of hostilities.

Regarding my scenario, let’s hope nothing like this ever happens. Impossible you say? I say improbable but not impossible. Prepare for the long long,long haul, unless the new congress throws up their collective hands and says Enough!

I posted this for the first time over two years ago. I suppose it’s safe to say that this fictional scenario is closer to reality than the the crazy upbeat ravings of Administration officials.

July 20, 2007. attack, Baghdad, Cheney, Civil War, dishonest, explosions, fairness, Hugo Chavez, Iraq, politics, President, President Bush, Saudi Arabia, Shiite, suicide, Sunni, Syria, Terrorism, Uncategorized, Venezuela, Vice Persideny, war. Leave a comment.

Viewpoints I – A look at Psychiatry

From time to time I will post viewpoints from academicians which tend to mirrorm mine. Here is the first of such postings:

MORE BRITISH ACADEMICS SPEAK OUT!

Tom Cruise is most certainly right. Psychiatry is, and will remain a
pseudoscience and the only caveat to that statement is that it may give it
more credibility than it deserves.

I speak as a medical ethicist and I congratulate Tom Cruise first for his
courage to speak out on such issues and second on his obvious dedicated
interest in the subject demonstrated by his knowledge of the issues. The
detractors especially those who support psychiatry because it has ‘helped
them’ miss the point. Tom Cruise is speaking about the subject, they are
speaking about themselves. The subject is this. Psychiatry demands
recognition within the healing arts and claims to be both a science and a
branch of medicine. It is neither for these reasons.

For years psychiatry has propagated a myth that mental illnesses are
biological and has even gone so far in many cases to deny that we are
creatures of free will at all. For years those who refuse to accept this
dogma have asked them for evidence, not conjecture, to support this
position. It has not been forthcoming and the best they have ever been able
to come up with are “maybes”, “possiblies” and “we believe”. Not one piece
of real evidence has ever been adduced and it places this branch of
‘science’ in the same category as that that searches for the Yeti and the
Sasquatch, except of course that those who believe in Yetis and Sasquatches
have never had access to the vast research funds that the biopsychiatric
fraternity have.

Medicine is bound by an ancient and laudable tradition of ethics in which
primum non nocere (first do no harm) is the foundation stone that the
doctrines of beneficence and non-malfeasance are built on. Those ethics are
abrogated and control has primacy over care, first do no harm but second do
what you like. Lying to patients in any branch of medicine is a breach of
that ethic. Forcing medication is a breach of that ethic, denying the right
of consent is a breach of those ethics and if those ethical conditions
cannot be met then psychiatry does not belong in their world.

Respect for autonomy is a pillar of medical ethics. Autonomy is a myth in
psychiatry and cannot be found in any psychiatric hospital or in any society
where medication with dangerous drugs is a condition of liberty. Justice is
the fourth pillar of medical ethics and as with the others it is totally
absent in psychiatry. Where is the justice in telling patients that ‘mental
illness is for life’ when that excludes them from many areas that those of
us who are not ‘mad’ take for granted. Where is the justice in lying to
patients that mental illness means they must take drugs forever when real
science has shown that is not the case. Where is the justice in detaining
people against their will, without due process, on the spurious grounds that
they are a risk to themselves. Where is the justice in billions of dollars
being spent on mood adapting drugs while those drugs that save lives ‘cannot
be afforded.’

Even if psychiatry were a ‘science’ it would belong in the field of what is
now described as the most dishonest science of all, Biological Science.
This once noblest of sciences was originally a search for knowledge and
truth. It is now a search for dollars and when truth gets in the way of
that, it is buried. Case after case is now coming to light where the
bioscientists have lied to get research dollars, kudos and personal wealth.
Some of these scientists gone bad are now facing well deserved jail
sentences. Manufactured mental illnesses have provided the biggest growth
industry to these characters, puffing up egos and fattening wallets. Real
science and real people have suffered the cost of this with real illness
neglected and real science ignored.

Biopsychiatry is the biggest pseudoscientific lie since eugenics, to which
it is of course closely related. A big hand to Tom Cruise and all who keep
reminding us of this.

Barry Turner
Lecturer in Medical Ethics and Law
University of Lincoln
London, England

July 20, 2007. dishonest, drugs, ethics, mental illness, Psychiatry, science, Tom Cruise, Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Propose National Presidential Primary

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Letter to the Editor, November 2004

I am a Republican who voted for Kerry. That doesn’t mean I was enamored with Kerry. Quite the opposite, I was one of the many that voted against Bush sensing that he wasn’t up to the job.

I never see this mentioned but I think the way the candidates are selected is atrocious. Why should the whole country be forced to vote for presidential candidates usually selected by the insignificant states of Iowa or New Hampshire.

I propose a nationwide primary three months before the general election to select the Presidential and Vice Presidential candidates. This would save time and money cut down on negative campaigning and gives everyone a say on every candidate

July 17, 2007. candidatwe, fairness, politics, President, primary. Leave a comment.

A Book Review for U – The Secret Man

As I stated in my initial posting, I wrote numerous reviews and as I intimated, to break the monotony and to the chagrin of some administrators, I would occasionally write a farcical review. This is such a review, based on the fictional A Book Review for U show. Here is one of my favorites from that show. Enjoy.

THE SECRET MAN by Bob Woodward

“Good morning ladies and gentlemen and welcome to a special edition of Book Review 4 U. Today we will be reviewing the new book by Bob Woodward entitled The Secret Man. Woodward, you may recall, along with Carl Bernstein, both reporters for the Washington Post, helped lead the expose of the Watergate scandal and associated misdeeds, which startled many readers with their revealing and concise reporting during those trying times. This duo collaborated on many best selling books of this period including the best selling All the Presidents Men which, you may recall was later made into a movie. I’m sure you all remember that Woodward was assisted in these endeavors by inside information from an inscrutable source. This mysterious individual was eventually given the nickname Deep Throat. The identity of Deep Throat, which has been widely speculated upon for years, was recently revealed in a Vanity Fair article last month as former FBI second in command Mark Felt and the book The Secret Man, which was rushed to the press shortly after, confirms Felt’s identity as Deep Throat.

“With us this fine Saturday morning is our usual panel members ET and Pamela Anderson. ET of course is our resident Science Fiction expert and Pamela doesn’t know that much about books but she sure is nice to look at, right ET. Gimme three! That a boy! The gentleman in the middle is of course ET’s long time interpreter Hailey Comet and last but not least is our two guest panel members, Film Actress, Lind Lovelace, who of course was known for her starring role in the pornographic movie Deep Throat and is sometimes referred to as Deep Throat herself and another lady who some consider an expert on deep throat affairs, Monica Lewinski. So good to see you again Monica. Have you been behaving yourself lately?”

“So good to see you again too Bill. You know I have a penchant for powerful men but I am working on it. I’m presently attending weekly meeting at Sex Addicts anonymous. In disguise of course.”

“Well Monica, you just blew it there, er, your identity I mean. You are after all on TV. Well just remember to get your dresses cleaned.

“I of course I am your host, If you don’t recognize me, my name is William Jefferson Clinton. I used to work for the government and I know something about scandals.

“As usual I’ll read the fly leaf of the book, giving everybody a feeling for the book and then we’ll have a usual comment from our resident Epinionator Mr. Daumco. After that we’ll open things up for discussion by our panel. Sorry ET but this one isn’t your favorite, Science Fiction either, but it is a good book, isn’t it?

“What’s that. You haven‘t read it yet but you‘ll read it on the commercial break. Hailey, why does he keep doing that? Never mind.”

“Well, Bill. I want you to know that I read it and it only took me four days. It is a short book you know? Only two hundred twenty pages.”

“Good for you Pam. I knew I could count on you. Now straighten up. That‘s it, now throw your shoulders back. Ahhh, I love it when you wear those low cut tops.”

“Here is what the dust jacket says, in part”

“In Washington DC, where little stays secret for long, the identity of Deep Throat – the mysterious source who helped Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein break open the Watergate scandal in 1972 – remained hidden for 33 years. Now Woodward tells the story of his long complex relationship with W. Mark Felt, the enigmatic former No 2 man in the Federal Bureau of Investigation who helped end the presidency of Richard Nixon.”

“The Secret Man chronicles the story in intimate detail, from Woodward‘s first, chance encounter with Felt in the Nixon White House, to there covert middle-of-the-night meeting in an underground parking garage, to the aftermath of Watergate and decades beyond, until Felt finally step[ped forward at the age of 91 to unmask himself as Deep Throat.”

“The Secret Man reveals the struggles of a patriotic career FBI man, an admirer of J. Edgar Hoover, the Bureau‘s legendary director. After Hoovers death, Mark Felt found himself in the crossfire of one of Washington‘s historic contests as Nixon and and his men tried to dominate the Bureau and cover up the crime of the administration.”

“The fly jacket is rather verbose, so we‘re going to leave it there and join Mr. Daumco on the phone to get his analysis. Good morning Mr. D, I hope everything is fine for you back in Arizona.”

“Thank you Bill. As the saying goes everything is ’Peaches’. It’s still quite early here, the sun just came up, so it’s fairly nice out right now. You know, In Phoenix we have no earthquakes, tornados, hurricanes, tsunamis or snow but we sure do have HEAT. Speaking of heat, I‘m really impressed with your guests today. I’ll bet they can generate some heat of their own and Pam, I love your top today, if that‘s what it is. Didn‘t you wear that on the Howard Stern show?”

“Why Mr. D what a great memory you have. Yes I did wear it for awhile. I’m impressed you remember.”

“Ok Mr. D, we need to move along. What is your analysis of Deep Throat”

“Which one?”

“The book, The Secret Man by Bob Woodward.”

“Yes of course, sorry. Actually Bill. I’m glad you stopped reading the fly jacket because you would have given most of the book away if you had kept reading. To say that The Secret Man is laconic is like saying Phoenix is somewhat warm. For one of the biggest secrets of our times, Woodward had surprisingly little to say. The book is short! Short on information. Short on revelations. Short on words (about 40,00 I‘d guess). Short on interest. Short, Short, Short. That‘s not to say the book is totally without merit. Woodward continues to write in his ‘aw shucks‘, ‘down home’ style of writing and he does manage to give Deep Throat a face. A face of a kindly old befuddled gentleman now and the proud, confident, mildly ruthless, extremely secretive informer of the seventies.”

“Much to the authors chagrin he was unable to ascertain Felt‘s true motive‘s behind his secretive revelations before his dementia and we are subjected to his rehashing of all that has been said by his contemporaries in the past. However, we do get to see a side of Woodard that I had never suspected. That of a pushy, prodding, sometimes demanding but not ungrateful recipient of Felt’s largess. As Woodward recites the events, it seems that Felt, whatever his motives, be it personal, or resentment of the Nixon team for compromising his beloved FBI, was recalcitrant and events would not have moved forward, without Woodward’s persistence. This ultimately led to a split of these unlikely friends where Felt wouldn‘t take Woodward‘s calls and they did not talk for a period of some twenty years.”

“My feeling is that although Woodward had his book ready to go in draft form, he was taken by surprise by the sudden surprise announcement from Felt’s family and was rushed to come up with the finished manuscript. As short as the book is, it seems it was stretched by repeating things in the last third of the book. I found this repetition annoying. In summary I found the book mildly amusing and I‘m glad I read it, if for nothing else, to get a feeling for the man they called Deep Throat. Was he a hero or a traitor? My sense is that Nixon and his gang were out of control and Ship of State was dangerously listing and Felt with some help from Woodward and Bernstein were to only ones bailing the water at first. Yeah he was a hero. Wish we had some of his ilk today. He wasn’t obsequious. Nor was he a sycophant. He would have never said ‘Mr. President, it’s a slam dunk’.”

“I have mixed feelings about the book. I feel like the book was rushed for obvious reasons. The story, what there is of if is compelling but seems incomplete. I give it a rating of 3.2 Stars.”

“Great! Well thanks once again for your input Mr. D. When we return we’ll get a new viewpoint from our panel.”

_______________________________

“Welcome back folks. Now it‘s time to get our panel‘s opinion of The Secret Man. As Usual we start with ET. Hailey, What does ET think about our book.”

“Yes Pamela”

“Yes, I thought the book was a little short on specifics and tended to be redundant in order to appear to be more substantial than it was. Other than that I thought it was an average read despite that Deep Throat was my hero.”

“Thank you Pamela. That was very insightful, for you. Anybody else? Yes Monica.”

“I thought the book was wonderful. I‘ll admit I hadn‘t personally heard of Mark Felt but I was impressed. He was obviously a man of integrity, a virile, powerful man who almost single handedly brought down a President. I wish I had known him when he was young, at his peak.. I would have helped him bring the President down.”

“Thank you Monica. I‘m sure you could have been a big help to Deep Throat in bringing down the President. I think you‘ve had some experience along those lines. ET, Do you have anything to say? ET? Linda what are you doing to him?”

“Chill out Bill. He‘s cute. I used to have a teddy bear like him. Don‘t worry, he just put his finger by my mouth and pushed it in then out and so forth. He seems to like that. He‘s harmless.”

“I hate to tell you Linda but that‘s not his finger.”

“Oh?”

“So What does ET think about Deep Throat, Hailey?”

“ET says he thinks she‘s the real McCoy. Is that how you say it?”

“I don‘t suppose he has any comments about The Secret Man, the book about the other Deep Throat?”

“ET can‘t really talk right now, but I can tell you that he doesn‘t understand human politics and he‘s very happy you invited Linda here today.”

“Monica what are you doing”

“Linda said it tastes good and I was just checking it out.”

Pamela does a double take and says, “Really, it tastes good?”

“Well I want to thank the TV audience for viewing our show. We‘re going to have to leave it there for now.”

“Pamela, What are you doing?”

“Tastes like chocolate, Bill”

“No it doesn‘t, it tastes like strawberries”

“I thought it tasted minty”

“Goodbye and don‘t forget to join us next week”

July 15, 2007. Bill Clinton, Bob Woodward, Books, Deep Throat, Humor, Linda Lovelace, Mark Felt, Pam Anderson, review, satire, Secret Man, Watergate. 1 comment.

Hello world!

My given name is not common knowledge, but I write fiction under the name D.E. or Dee Dawning. Before I began writing books I wrote other things. I wrote reviews, opinions and when things got a little onerous, I wrote humor. I suppose, I still write humor in some of my stories. Over the last few years I have written several things that I would like to share with you. Some humorous and some serious. I call my blog Silly Things and there will indeed be articles and reviews that I hope you will find, if not outright funny, you will at least find clever. But, I am an opinionated person, so expect doses of serious monologue.

Some of my ramblings will be a rant but more often they will be satirical. Some will be tongue in cheek book or music reviews. I hope you enjoy my scribblings and hope to hear from you. Remember, hearing from you gives me the incentive to post more scribblings.

For my first posting I am going to post a letter to the decider from a concerned fictitious supporter.

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An Open Letter to President Bush

Dear President Bush, I know that you don’t take kindly to criticism but I think you might have made a teensy weensy mistake when you invaded Iraq. I hate to admit it but it even looks like the French may have been right for once. I know that you and Dick, being former oil men, had our best interests at heart, when you went after that Golden Goose—Oil. You even thought that the oil would pay for our aggression. At least that’s what Rumsfield said. Come to think of it so did Wolfowitz, but I’m afraid your little war only made oil scarcer and now I can’t afford to go no place. It’s too bad Dick wasn’t right when he said the Iraqis were going to throw flowers at us as liberators. He must have been thinking of them newsreels they used to show in the theaters at the end of World War II. Course then we really were liberators. It’s too bad you were wrong when you declared an end to hostilities four years ago, I feel real bad for them fine American boys that ain’t comin back. It’s too bad you were wrong when you told the Reverend Pat Robertson that there weren’t going to be any casualties in Iraq. Funny how so many people keep sayin that there weren’t no terrorists there before we got there. Imagine that?

Another thing is I’m real sorry that WMD thing didn’t pan out for you the way you wanted. They surely had us fooled, didn’t they? Maybe that’ll teach em not to fool us anymore. I hear Iran and North Korea have WMD too. Do you think they is trying to fool us too? I guess they was too strong for us to attack them, seeing as how much trouble we are having with them terrorists in Iraq. I was sure glad to hear the Vice President tell us how the insurgency is in the last throes. It’s good to hear the straight scoop instead of what the papers and TV is always telling us. You’d think they was Al Jezeera or something the way they is always showing our boys getting blown up or something. By the way, Mr. President I really don’t understand why you kept that Mr. Rumsfield around for so long. He seemed to make more mistakes than you. I hear tell he wanted to go into Iraq with only sixty thousand troops. Even I know better than that. Even with the troop strength we got it seems like we got just enough to go in and rout the terrorists in a town by not enough to stay there and occupy it so they don’t come back. Howevr, I understand that if you have more troops there it’s just more targets for the terrorists and it makes the people more unhappy. Of course if we had even less troops there would be even less targets. It seems like the Iraqis and all the Muslims for that matter don’t understand the good you are doing there. What I don’t understand is why you don’t tell them. All them bad clerics is stirring up the young hot heads and we don’t say nutin to em. That’s bad PR. Sorry but it is. I call a spade a spade. It also seems that we don’t send more troops there cause there ain’t no more troops to send. Can’t figure out why that’s the case when your daddy had four times as many troops for Desert Storm. Boy did he kick @ss, huh? Is it true that he says that he didn’t go all the way to Baghdad because it was a powder keg and it might start a civil war and he didn’t want our military to get bogged down there? Well I guess you showed your daddy up, right? We ain’t bogged down and in four years there ain’t no civil war, only civil strife, but it sure is costing a lot of money. I hear half a trillion dollars. I ain’t so good with math but someone told me that’s over two thousand dollars per American or ten thousand per average household. If’n I had that money I could afford gas to go somewhere.

Anyway, it sure is a shame how your second idea isn’t working out either, you know the Democracy thing. I guess them Shia’s are bound and determined to have an Islamic State, you know like that other Axis of Evil, Iran, where the women all dress like nuns. They must be really religious, huh? I hear they’re making trouble for us in Iraq too and so is Syria. You really need to work on your PR with these people. Be less threatening and more flexible. That’s probably why North Korea is so afraid of you, You name them and the two Iras as “Axis of Evil” and then you attack Iraq. Kim Jung Il must be waiting for the other shoe to drop. You must know him pretty good because your always talking about him like you’re on a first name basis. Why else would you disrespect him by not using his title. So since you know him so good, what would happen if you said Kim, or Jung, or Il, whichever is his first name, hey Kim, I’ve got an idea. Your country is in dreadful shape with crop failures and all kinds of bad things and you’re worried that I covet your country. However, you know that I’m a Christian—I’m not supposed to covet another man’s country. Yet, you do need help and our country is bountiful, despite some teeny weensy mistakes I have made, so I’m in a position to help. You know, you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.

Now you’re building WMD. Bombs right? That worries us. Plus you have a million man army, which makes me jealous. Wait, I didn’t say that. I don’t covet your army. I would just like to borrow a half million or so of them. I could really make it worth your while. You see a couple years ago I made an error in judgment, you know a pottery thing, oh never mind, anyway I kinda got us into a war. It seemed easy enough at first but no matter what we tried it only got worse. You know, that 2 ½ thing, typical Government project where it costs twice as much as it was supposed too and takes twice as long as it was supposed to and accomplishes half of what it was supposed to. Only this war is worse. It is costing ten times what is was supposed to and ten times as long and has accomplished nothing, so I could really use your help. Here’s what I can do. You join my coalition of the willing and send five hundred, no make that seven hundred thousand troops to Iraq and I will guaranty the safety of North Korea, buy two nuclear weapons from you a year, pay your troops for you, give you fifty billion dollars a year foreign aid, give you your choice of my daughters for marriage and put your country in the Axis of Good.

You see Mr. President a little PR could go a long way toward extricating you from this messy situation.

Your faithful servant, Humpty Dumpty

July 14, 2007. Humor, Iraq, President Bush, satire, war. 1 comment.