It’s been a year since my first post, An Open Letter to President Bush–a satire from a supposedly disgruntled supporter.

I thought the essay was incredibly appropriate to some recent events of the administration so I decided to repeat it. Here is An Open Letter to President Bush

An Open Letter to President Bush

Dear President Bush, I know that you don’t take kindly to criticism but I think you might have made a teensy weensy mistake when you invaded Iraq. I hate to admit it but it even looks like the French may have been right for once. I know that you and Dick, being former oil men, had our best interests at heart, when you went after that Golden Goose—Oil. You even thought that the oil would pay for our aggression. At least that’s what Rumsfield said. Come to think of it so did Wolfowitz, but I’m afraid your little war only made oil scarcer and now I can’t afford to go no place. It’s too bad Dick wasn’t right when he said the Iraqis were going to throw flowers at us as liberators. He must have been thinking of them newsreels they used to show in the theaters at the end of World War II. Course then we really were liberators. It’s too bad you were wrong when you declared an end to hostilities four years ago, I feel real bad for them fine American boys that ain’t comin back. It’s too bad you were wrong when you told the Reverend Pat Robertson that there weren’t going to be any casualties in Iraq. Funny how so many people keep sayin that there weren’t no terrorists there before we got there. Imagine that?

Another thing is I’m real sorry that WMD thing didn’t pan out for you the way you wanted. They surely had us fooled, didn’t they? Maybe that’ll teach em not to fool us anymore. I hear Iran and North Korea have WMD too. Do you think they is trying to fool us too? I guess they was too strong for us to attack them, seeing as how much trouble we are having with them terrorists in Iraq. I was sure glad to hear the Vice President tell us how the insurgency is in the last throes. It’s good to hear the straight scoop instead of what the papers and TV is always telling us. You’d think they was Al Jezeera or something the way they is always showing our boys getting blown up or something. By the way, Mr. President I really don’t understand why you kept that Mr. Rumsfield around for so long. He seemed to make more mistakes than you. I hear tell he wanted to go into Iraq with only sixty thousand troops. Even I know better than that. Even with the troop strength we got it seems like we got just enough to go in and rout the terrorists in a town by not enough to stay there and occupy it so they don’t come back. Howevr, I understand that if you have more troops there it’s just more targets for the terrorists and it makes the people more unhappy. Of course if we had even less troops there would be even less targets. It seems like the Iraqis and all the Muslims for that matter don’t understand the good you are doing there. What I don’t understand is why you don’t tell them. All them bad clerics is stirring up the young hot heads and we don’t say nutin to em. That’s bad PR. Sorry but it is. I call a spade a spade. It also seems that we don’t send more troops there cause there ain’t no more troops to send. Can’t figure out why that’s the case when your daddy had four times as many troops for Desert Storm. Boy did he kick @ss, huh? Is it true that he says that he didn’t go all the way to Baghdad because it was a powder keg and it might start a civil war and he didn’t want our military to get bogged down there? Well I guess you showed your daddy up, right? We ain’t bogged down and in four years there ain’t no civil war, only civil strife, but it sure is costing a lot of money. I hear half a trillion dollars. I ain’t so good with math but someone told me that’s over two thousand dollars per American or ten thousand per average household. If’n I had that money I could afford gas to go somewhere.

Anyway, it sure is a shame how your second idea isn’t working out either, you know the Democracy thing. I guess them Shia’s are bound and determined to have an Islamic State, you know like that other Axis of Evil, Iran, where the women all dress like nuns. They must be really religious, huh? I hear they’re making trouble for us in Iraq too and so is Syria. You really need to work on your PR with these people. Be less threatening and more flexible. That’s probably why North Korea is so afraid of you, You name them and the two Iras as “Axis of Evil” and then you attack Iraq. Kim Jung Il must be waiting for the other shoe to drop. You must know him pretty good because your always talking about him like you’re on a first name basis. Why else would you disrespect him by not using his title. So since you know him so good, what would happen if you said Kim, or Jung, or Il, whichever is his first name, hey Kim, I’ve got an idea. Your country is in dreadful shape with crop failures and all kinds of bad things and you’re worried that I covet your country. However, you know that I’m a Christian—I’m not supposed to covet another man’s country. Yet, you do need help and our country is bountiful, despite some teeny weensy mistakes I have made, so I’m in a position to help. You know, you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.

Now you’re building WMD. Bombs right? That worries us. Plus you have a million man army, which makes me jealous. Wait, I didn’t say that. I don’t covet your army. I would just like to borrow a half million or so of them. I could really make it worth your while. You see a couple years ago I made an error in judgment, you know a pottery thing, oh never mind, anyway I kinda got us into a war. It seemed easy enough at first but no matter what we tried it only got worse. You know, that 2 ½ thing, typical Government project where it costs twice as much as it was supposed too and takes twice as long as it was supposed to and accomplishes half of what it was supposed to. Only this war is worse. It is costing ten times what is was supposed to and ten times as long and has accomplished nothing, so I could really use your help. Here’s what I can do. You join my coalition of the willing and send five hundred, no make that seven hundred thousand troops to Iraq and I will guaranty the safety of North Korea, buy two nuclear weapons from you a year, pay your troops for you, give you fifty billion dollars a year foreign aid, give you your choice of my daughters for marriage and put your country in the Axis of Good.

You see Mr. President a little PR could go a long way toward extricating you from this messy situation.

Your faithful servant, Humpty Dumpty

A couple weeks ago, I threw a question out to some of my readers, to wit; Reality Shows–love ‘em or hate ‘em? We’ll most people that answered, they didn’t like them, but one young lady’s answer caught my attention. She too, didn’t like them, but she didn’t like them with emphasis. Therefore I decided to give you, my other readers a chance to read Nanette’s diatribe.

I hate the damn things! Whatever happened to good television shows with a plot? Where are the sitcom? I found my 13 and 16 year olds watching one of many they watch one Sat and I just went off. I told them girls, this is not reality.
Reality is loosing your job, wondering where you next meal is coming.
Reality is trying to deal with the price of gas to get to work.
Reality is deciding whether to pay for said gas to get to work or save the money to buy groceries.
Reality is knowing you can’t get to work without buying the gas and if you don’t go to work you can’t pay for the gas to get to work. Are you still with me?
Reality is working you fingers to the bone and not getting paid for your pound of flesh that you gave at the office.

Nanette

God, I love it? Wouldn’t just love to see Nannette tear into Darth Cheny and G.W. Shrub? Go get ‘em Nanette!

Secret Things, French name - Choses Secretes, is the kind of movie one either loves or hates. I happened to be a lover. Even the fact that the movie was French with English sub titles did not dampen my enjoyment.

CAST
Coralie Revel – Nathalie
Sabrina Seyvecou - Sandrine
Roger Mirmont - Delacroix
Fabrice Deville - Christophe
Blandine Bury – Charlotte
Olivier Soler – Cadene

DIRECTOR
Jeanne-Claude Brisseau

THE PLOT
Roommates Nathalie (Coralie Revel) and Sandrine (Sabrina Seyvecou) compose a strategy to dispense sex strategically to manipulate men into submission for financial gain and advancement. They commence their plan at a large prestigious Paris brokerage house. After initial successes and rapid advancement, they meet their match in the company CEO, Christophe (Fabrice Deville) the handsome amoral son of the company’s founder.

THE STORY
A shapely woman reclines on a day bed. She is restless and she is NAKED. A spotlight seems to highlight her gyrations and machinations. She sits up and slips into high-heeled sandals. She leans back and puffs out her chest. She places one hand upon her breast and kneads her nipple. The hand moves down across her midriff to her sex and she massages it. Suddenly she stands up and deliberately struts across the hardwood floor. After a dozen or so purposeful steps, facing the camera, she lowers herself to her knees and bends back once again. The spotlight is still on her as she masturbates and as she masturbates, the camera pans right. After panning about ninety degrees, you start to see people sitting at tables and the more it pans, you realize you are in a nightclub and the woman is an exotic performer. The woman is Nathalie.

Nathalie and Sandrine a recently hired bartender were fired that night because Nathalie would not allow the owner to force Sandrine to sleep with a customer. Tossed out on the street with nowhere to go, Sandrine accepted Nathalie’s offer to spend the night. At her apartment, Nathalie urges Sandrine to loosen up after she admitted to admiring Nathalie’s nerve and lack of inhibitions.

Nathalie, with her dry humor and strong will, made Sandrine laugh and eventually coerced her to do in front of her what Nathalie had done in front of an audience. With that, the bond was sealed and plans were laid, based on Nathalie’s distorted view of love and sex, to manipulate all men and make a place in society for themselves. After the women’s initial successes and having compromised their boss Delacroix, (Roger Mirmont), their plan begins to devolve into a whirlpool of ruthlessness, unrequited love, group sex, lesbian sex, three-way sex, and masturbation, in which the only way out appears to be suicide or murder.

CONCLUSION

The highly charged erotic opening scene set the theme for the movie so well, that I was mesmerized for the rest of the movie. True nothing that came after, with the possible exception of an “Eyes Wide Shut” style orgy scene late in the movie, was quite as electric but I still enjoyed the movie immensely. You see Secret Things had a story. It had a plot. A good story, a good plot, and the overall acting was very good. Secret Things is the closest I have viewed to a commercially viable, mainstream, erotic movie.

The movie Secret Things is appropriately named. The storyline is structured on secrets, deception and the duplicitous side of human nature. It is a reflection of a murky, lascivious side of life, which rarely is truly, captured on film. In fact the movie seemed to touch on one form or another, at one point or another, on all of ‘The Seven Deadly Sins’ – pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed and sloth, obviously a perfect sinister erotic movie.

I originally posted this absurdity in June of 2004. I decided to post it again<a

What’s with the smirk on GW’s face when asked a question? Does that mean he’s going Lie? No wonder Osama don’t like Bushman. I don’t either and I’m Republican

It’s becoming more and more obvious that our esteemed president Bushman targeted the wrong country in his quest to establish a beacon of freedom in the Middle East. Who would have thought that the most powerful country in the history of the world (sounds impressive doesn’t it, I read that somewhere) would have trouble swallowing a country of a mere twenty-five million inhabitants.

After all when we were one of the only two superpowers in the world we did quite a juggling act by occupying two populous former enemies, Germany and Japan, while taking on the North Koreans and the Chinese while holding the Soviets at bay. Oh that’s right North Korea was a United Nation approved police action but who needs the United Nations.

In hindsight (isn’t hindsight wonderful) Bushman got it wrong. He/we shouldn’t have used tiny Kuwait as a staging area to invade Iraq. He/we should have used Iraq as a staging area to attack tiny Kuwait. Doesn’t that make a lot more sense. I’ll bet even the Bushman administration could manage 800,000 Kuwaiti’s with a hundred and thirty-five thousand highly trained U.S. soldiers plus then Iraq wouldn’t dare invade Kuwait again.

G.W. should have taken a page from the Gipper’s playbook. You didn’t see Ronnie taking on the Soviets by invading Poland did you or the Chinese Communists by invading Taiwan. No he got it right. He took on the dangerous Peoples Republic of Granada and now we have a beacon of freedom in the Caribbean that is spreading democracy in this erstwhile dangerous area.

Back to Kuwait. Once Kuwait was pacified we could have set up a Jeffersonian Democracy, changed the official language to English and made facial hair unlawful, especially on women. Think, then if we came across a Middle Eastern type with a mustache that couldn’t speak English, Bingo, we have a bonafide Terrorist/Insurgent and we could extradite him to Saudi Arabia to be be be beheaded. That seems to be a popular thing with Arabs.

And speaking of a beacon of Freedom in the Middle East, a place to admire, a country to emulate, we could build replications of the World Trade Centers there. Wouldn’t that p*ss Osama off but this time when he comes, we’ll have a little surprise for him. Sssssh don’t tell anyone but we’ll put a force field around Twin Towers - Two and his planes will bounce off and explode harmlessly on the ground. We could do it after all we are the most powerful country in the history of the world!!!!!

Hi everyone, Lot’s of good things in the writing world have been happening to me lately, so I thought I’d bring you up to date.

For starters, my erotic/romance thriller, LEGS is scheduled to be re-released on May 15th by my main publisher, eXtasy Books. It was previously released by Amira Press but was returned to me in November. While released, it had garnered several outstanding reviews, including a five fallen angel recommended read from Fallen Angel Reviews.

Look for excerpts from LEGS shortly.
This is a MOCK COVER

Next, my latest novel, Love and Seduction in Las Vegas, is scheduled to be released in August from my newest publisher, Bookstrand Inc..

LSLV as I call it for short is a sexy story about an older woman who takes a shy reticent young man and teaches him the art of seduction. I guarantee you’ll love the ending of this short by epic tale.

following LSLV by a month, the novelette By the Book and a teaser called Gizmo also from Bookstrand.
Somewhere in this mix eXtasy will release another teaser on it’s fantasy games line called, Fantasy Football.

I’ll be posting blurbs and excerpts from all these works in the next few weeks so watch for these sneak previews.

Last I’d like to talk about the contest that’s been going on during the week of April, where thirty authors are each giving away a prize. That’s thirty prizes folks. I’m giving away a Cd single of the very beautiful song by Mother Earth

and a download of my hot, feisty novelette, Forbidden Passion.

My contest question is from my latest, book Getting Naked at the Hilton, so if you read the book you may know it. It is: What is the song Chloe had to learn for their demo and what artist made it originally?

But don’t worry. if you want to enter this contest, the answer is also located on my myspace page:
www.myspace.com/dedawning
It’s song #nine on the musical playlist and though the the playlist seems to be inactive right now, you’ll find the song and the answer tucked in between Classical Gas and The Wizard

Look for this banner to locate the playlist.

The Odyssey in Reading Contest rules and a list of all prizes are posted on our website at:
http://msa.literalseduction.net

Join and you could win one of dozens of prizes.

Ahh! Fast Lane to Vegas! My kind of movie.

Of the few (scores that is) softcore movies I have viewed, Fast Lane to Vegas would have to be near the top in a list of my favorites. Fast Lane to Vegas is lighthearted, whimsical, sexy and erotic.

Fast Lane to Vegas is a sexual farce and doesn’t pretend to be anything else. The story is ably portrayed by the main characters, Zach (Stephen Harvard), Brian (Steve Curtis), Monica (Renee Rea) and Ashley (Tracy Ryan) and a plethora of attractive supporting cast members.

The Plot

Brian and Monica have a large wedding planned in Las Vegas. Monica, along with her best friend and Maid of Honor, Ashley, are already in Las Vegas, waiting for her fiancé, Brian’s arrival, who along with his friend and Best Man will be driving down from Los Angeles.

The Story

Before leaving for Vegas and his wedding Zack talks Brian into detouring to a showgirl party where Zack has a bachelor party lined up for Brian. Afterward, already late and hurrying to Las Vegas, Zack gets lost and they run across a couple sexy humanoid aliens. Then, trying to find their way back to their destination, they keep running into opportunities for sex with gorgeous horny gals, including in Mexico, where the bartender/mayor/judge decides to hang our boys for their indiscretions.

Meanwhile in Las Vegas, Monica, following Ashley’s example makes hay with a room service waiter and a male stripper. There are a couple side stories as well such as Brian’s future father-in-law hiring Biker Babe (Mia Zottoli) to follow Brian and Zack.

Credited Cast
Stephen Harvard Zack
Steve Curtis Brian
Renee Rea Monica
Tracy Ryan Ashley (as Tracy Angeles)
Nick Pellegrino Barkeep
Flower Juanita (as Flower Edwards)
Tera Patrick WiB #2 (as Tera Hopkins)
Mia Zottoli Biker Babe (as Ava Lake)
Bill Ferrante Mr. Sweethome
Sarah Kalla Heather
Dee Ginger (as Dee Summers)
Kelli McCarty WiB #1
Sasha Peralto Marina
Kelly Alane Chastity

Movie Data
Year: 2000 Indigo Entertainment/Playboy
Directed by: John Quinn
Version: Unrated DVD

Report Card

Story – B
Acting – B+
Directing – B+
Cinematography – A
Cast – A
Eroticism factor – B-
Entertainment factor – A
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Conclusion
For softcore presented in a zany, slapstick style, Fast Lane is very good. The misadventures of Zack and Brian are madcap, goofy and hilarious, especially Zack, who seems to be able to talk Brian into mischief. The ladies are essentially an all-star cast of soft and hardcore stars, as Renee Rea, Tracy Ryan, Angela Davies, Flower Edwards, Tera Patrick, Mia Zottoli, Kelli Mccarthy and Sasha Peralto, all show what they have.
This is the second “Fast Lane” movie that Indigo/Playboy released, the first being “Fast Lane to Malibu”, which featured almost the same cast and much the same concept. Both movies were originally featured on the Playboy channel and both movies are available together as a package. Personally, I didn’t appreciate “Malibu” as much but I will review the two movie package at a future date.

Both films are touted as ‘interactive movies’, where the viewer can choose at certain points either of two scenarios. I tried it a couple times, but I thought it was more a gimmick than something that added to the enjoyment of the movie. After choosing a scenario both ways a couple times and ending up at the same juncture after two or three minutes, I decided not to worry about this marginal feature.

For those wondering, the sex scenes were all well done though obviously simulated and honestly, more amusing than steamy. Still with the attractiveness of the cast involved, the sex scenes are still quite erotic. There were a total of nine sex scenes, including a fairly intense one with a girl pleasuring herself..

Since this movie is offered in both R rating and unrated, I made special effort to make sure I was buying the unrated version. I haven’t viewed the R rated version, but from my experience, unrated versions give me much more of the reason for which I watch softcore movies. Final Rating, 4.4 stars.

This movie is only for the open minded. Expect nudity aplenty along with some explicit sex, bestiality, even simulated snuff film footage.

I have probably watched, under duress I might add, about a dozen Emmanuelle/Emanuelle movies, out the approximately two dozen or so available movies, (talk about sequels) so for those of you not familiar, a little background is in order. After seeing so many of these movies, I have come to the conclusion that name Emmanuelle means beautiful nymph in French. It is obvious because, in each of these movies, the only common denominator is a gorgeous woman of the world, who sleeps around, a lot.

Ok, I was kidding. The movies have a couple other common denominators, lousy plots and plenty T & A, so it is obvious that these movies were made for one reason and one reason only (other than to make money), to turn people, including me, on, so if you’re looking for brainfood you have mistakenly pushed the eye candy button.

Now, I know you are all dying to know why I said Emmanuelle/Emanuelle. Can you guess? I’ll give you a hint. Franco/Italio. Get it? What have I got to do? Draw you a picture. The first Emmanuelle movies were made in France and it took two years to get over the Alps to Italy and when it did they said ‘mama mia buenvideo’ or something like, that and started making Emanuelle movies, which means in Italian - beautiful fallen angel. As you have now, probably figured out, Emanuelle in America is of the Italio, fallen angel persuasion.

Emanuelle in America

As I said, I have probably viewed a dozen or so of these movies but Emanuelle in America was truly a surprise for me. There were parts in this film that made even me, blush. I didn’t say I closed my eyes or turned my head. I blushed. In fact, I grabbed the remote and went over the parts that made me blush so I could blush a few more times.

####WARNING####

If you are the kind of person who doesn’t like to read about SEX and are easily embarassed or offended and wish you hadn‘t started reading this crazy review about this crazy movie, I understand, I’m the same way, sort of, so go with my blessing. Just give me a Most Helpful before you do and I’ll say a prayer for you and review a Disney movie in the future.

Back to the diehards. Emanuelle in America is one kinky, MF (morbid flick) which is not surprising since it was directed by Joe D’Amato, who is notorious for sex and gore.

PLOT

In this movie, Emanuelle (Laura Gemser), is a “fashion photographer” (of nude women), photo journalist, investigative reporter (both undercover and above cover) and any other thing you can think of. After a preliminary scene where Emanuelle goes down on some guy with a gun that wants to kill her, she goes off to join some millionaire’s zodiac conceived concubine (Emanuelle‘s a Virgo). After bedding his right hand man, an interlude with two other naked girls in the pool and a lesbian scene in a sauna we are treated to a scene where a naked lady masturbates a horse. No really, I’m not kidding. While this is going on, Emanuelle is ostensibly taking voyeuristic photos with a miniature camera, embedded in a bracelet.

After she makes her getaway from the millionaires California compound, Emanuelle hooks up with a Duke? From Venice (Italy) who invites her the annual wingding he and his wife throw. After a manage a trios with the Duke and Duchess we have the shindig, which turns into a big orgy and of course our heroine is walking around the naked bodies, again taking pictures with the little camera, this time mounted in a tasteless costume jewelry necklace with an extra long chain, which is so obvious she may as well blurt out, “Hey, You mind if I take some fu*king pictures”. Here we get our first glimpse of hardcore as a woman performs fellatio.

Next our liberated mostly undercover trollop is off to a Caribbean island she heard about at the orgy, where the services of well endowed men (studs) are available (for sale) to wealthy women. The movie continues with her viewing and photographing more graphic sex, with her poorly hidden camera and even an investigation into the source of some snuff film footage, of which I will not go into.

What’s good

~ As usual Laura Gemser was lovely, though when she was fully dressed, her clothes seemed overly large on her. She must be tiny.

~ I must admit that I was intrigued rather than turned, off by the hardcore scenes. I was caught totally off guard, having never seen them in previous Emmanuelle/Emanuelle movies.

~ There was lots of nudity but except for Emanuelle with her Barbie Doll figure and the anatomically pleasing Duchess, few were exceptionally attractive.

What‘s not

~ Although Miss Gemser is shown entering into numerous intimate scenes, they all cut away before anything beside preliminaries are shown, (exception, the lesbian scenes).

~ For a professional undercover investigative photographer, Emanuelle was certainly obvious with her supposedly surreptitious photography, nor was her camera well hidden.

~ I may be wrong but some of the explicit sexual scenes in the movie looked, to me, like they were borrowed from other films. Oh well, who cares?

~ The story was weak and the ending was terrible but I’d watch it again!

~ In the scene where the kid had a gun to Emanuelle’s head, she didn’t appear to be the least bit nervous, let alone scared. Well, it was a bit laughable.

~ In fact, I guess you would have to say that overall the acting was weak but then who watches these movies for the acting.

~ Some of the cinematography and editing seemed weak as well. That means it looked like your home movies. (The quality not the subject matter {I hope})

CONCLUSION

When it comes to this version of Emanuelle, all you have to remember is Laura Gemser. For one hundred minutes we see Laura Gemser traipsing around the world mostly in profile. Now Gemser is a Eurasian beauty, no doubt, but not in profile. She, like another beauty, Heather Locklear do not photograph that well in profile. They kind of look like somebody stole the tip of their nose.

I must admit to some ambivalence regarding this film. On the one hand the film was fascinating, wondering what new kinky perversion D’Amato was going to throw at you next, as he pushed the envelope of decency, by tackling subjects that were taboo in polite society. Overall I enjoyed the film despite numerous flaws, so I’m not sure how I should rate it. I guess I’ll play it safe and rate it in the middle, 3 stars.

PS. This film is not recommended for children under the age of thirty-five!

Author’s Note

I usually try to provide a list of the cast but other than Laura Gemser, I was unable to find any credits for the other participants. Perhaps the supporting cast thought their performances were so bad, they wished remain anonymous.

“Good morning ladies and gentlemen and welcome to another edition of Book Review 4 U. Today we will be reviewing a book by Kyle Mills called Smoke Screen. Mills, you may recall startled many readers with his initial novel, Rising Phoenix, with the novel idea of poisoning the nation’s illegal drug supply in order to curtail it’s use. Smoke Screen is Mill’s sixth book and whereas his previous books were all mystery thrillers, this one shoots off in a new direction.”

“With us this fine Saturday morning our usual panel members ET and Pamela Anderson. Et of course is our resident Science Fiction expert and Pamela doesn’t know that much about books but she sure is nice to look at, right ET. Gimme three! That a boy! The gentleman in the middle is of course ET’s long time interpreter Hailey Comet and last but not least is our two guest panel members, Film Maker, Michael Moore and Comedian Jerry Seinfield and Mike, please don’t worry about that chair. I of course I am your host, If you don’t recognize me, my name is William Jefferson Clinton. I used to work for the government but now I’ve got a real job and I’m loving it.”

“As usual I’ll read the fly leaf of the book, giving everybody a feeling for the book and then we’ll have our usual comment from our resident Epinionator Dee Dawning and then we’ll open things up for discussion by our panel. Sorry ET but this one isn’t your favorite, Science Fiction but it is a good book, isn’t it? You haven‘t read it yet but you‘ll read it on the commercial break.”

“Gee Bill, I wish I could read that fast. It took me a week of solid reading to get ready for this one”

“Well baby you know you don‘t have to contribute. You just have to sit there like you do, doing your thing.”

“I know Billy boy but I want to contribute for a change.”

“Okay, let’s move on. Here’s what the dust jacket, fly leaf has to say.”

“Through an inexplicable series of unwanted promotions, Trevor Barnett has become the lead spokesman for the tobacco industry just as it’s on the verge of extinction. Plaintiffs’ attorneys have finally found the weakness they’ve been searching for and filed a $200 billion lawsuit that the industry will be unable to appeal.”

As the economy falters and chaos takes hold, Trevor becomes the target of enraged smokers, gun totting cigarette smugglers and a government that has been off from one of it’s largest sources of revenue. Soon it becomes clear that this has always been his function - to take the brunt of the backlash and shield the men in power from the maelstrom they’ve created.”

“There’s more but I think the audience gets the idea. We now have Mr. Daumco on the phone to get his analysis. Good morning Mr. D. I hope it‘s not too early for you back in Arizona, after all it is six o’clock there isn‘t it?”

“No Problem, I’m up with the quail and cottontails”

“Good, if I may get right to the point, what did you think of Smoke Screen?”

“Well Bill, I really loved it. Up until this book, Kyle Mills has been a serious novelist but on his latest novel, Smoke Screen he has displayed a latent jocularity and borrowed from the masters of tongue in cheek humor to put out a subtlety droll and amusingly clever book. He succinctly tells an excellent, witty story, doesn‘t get too detail oriented doesn‘t try to foist his superior vocabulary on the reader, so you don‘t need a dictionary next to you”

“What I like about Kyle Mill‘s books, which I like to varying degrees, is that he comes up with some seriously different and interesting plots. He‘s not the only one that can do that, of course but it seems like some major authors rehash the same plots only on a more massive scale.”

“I read a bio on this guy and he doesn’t even have a background in writing, he just tried it, managed with difficulty to get his first book published and now he’s off and running. I’m impressed and I‘m impressed with his writing as well. He doesn‘t waste words. His writing is direct, he doesn‘t meander off in other directions and he‘s smooth. This book is less than 350 pages, when 500 plus is the apparent norm.”

“Great, thanks again Mr D for your insights. How’s that book of yours coming along?”

“We’re getting there. Thanks for asking, Bill”

“You’re welcome, good luck. So what do you rate this book?”

“Sorry Bill, I thought that was obvious - Five big ones!”

“Wonderful. We‘ll take a break now and when we come back we‘ll hear what our panel has to say”

_______________

“Ok Panel, let’s talk about Smoke Screen.”

“Yes Pamela.”

“I loved it, it was humorous and droll and clever and ah…………..oh yeah succinct and I give it five stars.”

“Hmmmm, ok ET how did you see it”

“Mr ET thought it was very good but he would like to have seen some sex scenes and for it to take place in space but he still gave it five stars”

“I see, sex scenes huh, I thought you guys were unisex, oh well Mike what did you think? Mike, hello Mike!”

“Sorry Bill, I was just noticing a spot of dirt on Pamela‘s ……..never mind. What did you ask me Bill?”

“What we‘re here for, your evaluation of Smoke Screen.”

“Oh sure, I thought it would make a great movie, though I wouldn‘t let the bad guys, I mean tobacco guys off the hook. You know there are so many bad guys. Everywhere you look bad guys. Look what happened to you, scandalous,”

“Michael!”

“No no, not you, the way you were treated. You‘d think you started a war or something.A”

“Michael!”

“Yes, yes, sorry I digressed. I thought the book was super. I really liked the union guy. I laughed so hard at what he said about Trevor‘s father that I lost my cigarette and burned the couch. Five Stars, definitely five stars.”

“Thank you Michael. How about you Jerry?”

“Good book Bill, but I don’t think we’ve said enough about the characters and the excellent character development. Michael mentioned the pragmatic Union leader, Larry Mann but we also had Trevor’s anti tobacco activist, love interest Anne, the calculating corporate guru, Paul Trainer, Trevor’s always partying, fair weather friend Darius and of course Trevor’s suppressive, conniving father Edwin Barnett.”

“The whole time I was reading Smoke Screen, I couldn’t help but remember another humorous book about the tobacco industry by William Buckley’s son, Christopher Buckley, titled Thank You for Not Smoking and the writing style also reminded me of Carl Hiassen’s work.

“All in all I thought it was a clever, slightly sarcastic story with some real funny lines. I may have to borrow some for my act. Just kidding. I‘ll make it unanimous, Five Stars.”

“Thanks Jerry. So there you have it, Smoke Screen by Kyle Mills. Buy it!”

Okay, we narrowed the covers down to three, but I added two new ones so I’m going to ask you to pick your favorites once more.

One

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

Please let me know your first and second choices.

Thank you, DEE

Princess was the first book that I’d read on the, shall we say, unusual treatment of women in Saudi Arabia. This led me to read other books on the subject which dealt with women’s precarious place in other Muslim countries as well.

Princess

The story of Princess Sultana (a pseudonym) was written by Jean Sasson a twelve year resident of Saudi Arabia. It is the story of an anonymous Saudi Princess who grew up in a Saudi palace, her sisters, servants, friends and other unfortunate women she had heard about. Some have debated the veracity of the book but many things as I have outlined in my conclusion cannot be denied.

Princess Sultana was born into a Royal Saudi family of ten daughters and one pampered son. She was too feisty for her own good and managed to often manifest the displeasure of her father. Some of the things she did wrong were taking her toys back from her bratty, can do no wrong , brother and then trying to explain her side of things when she got in trouble, but as she and her sisters got older things became even more suppressive.

Supposedly an honor and a sign of adulthood, Sultana was forced to veil as punishment for standing up for herself a couple years before menses. She was saved from female circumcision, which her four oldest sisters endured when a foreign tutor intervened. Sultana goes on to describe how her favorite sister, Sara, was betrothed at sixteen to a man forty-six years older. Within five weeks Sara almost committed suicide due to her aged husbands sadistic and brutal sexual practices.

Sasson goes on to describe many practices and laws in Saudi Arabia that would make a westerner blanch, including the summary execution of a thirteen year old girl for fornication, who was most likely raped, a young girl drowned in the family swimming pool by her father for kissing a boy and girls who had been forced to marry as young as twelve, having four and five children before their eighteenth birthday.

Summary
Jean Sasson weaves a very interesting story. Her writing is easy to follow and extremely readable. The incidents she describe tend to stay in your mind for a long time and may cause indignation in the reader. She accomplishes a fairly good character development of Princess Sultana and other family members.

The book itself is 254 easy reading pages long and also contains four appendixes, The Koran and Women, The Laws of Saudi Arabia, a glossary on Arab terms and a Chronology of Key Events in Saudi History, all located in back. In addition there is a map of Saudi Arabia, the surrounding area, with facts on Saudi Arabia and the surrounding countries and a family tree of the House of Saud in the front of the book.

Conclusion

The conclusion I took from all the books I have read so far on the subject is, that while some, maybe even most, women in Saudi Arabia and other Muslim countries may be well treated, the underlying groundwork is there for the mistreatment, even killing of women.

It is hard not to notice than Muslims take exception to this and similar publications. They would like us to believe the conditions and incidents that take place in these books are fantasy and maybe they believe they are, but the undeniable facts that lie within, lend credibility to everything within the books.

I ask these people. Can women drive in Saudi Arabia? Are there modesty police? Can a woman get in trouble for not wearing a head covering, a veil, letting hair show, letting skin show? Has any women ever been executed for adultery? Have young women ever been killed by family members in honor killings? Can a Saudi man divorce his wife by saying I divorce you three times? Can a wife own property? Does a woman need three witnesses to report a rape? Can a Muslim man have multiple wives? Is a Saudi woman’s testimony worth only half of a man’s? Are many if not most of Saudi women’s husbands chosen by their father? Are Saudi women encouraged or even allowed to get an education? Can a Saudi women work in any field she chooses? Can a Saudi woman walk the streets unescorted? Can a Saudi woman date?

To be sure, women historically have had trouble in almost all societies but the second class citizenship that seems endemic in Saudi Arabia and several other Muslim countries is systemic and deeply rooted.